Defiance: The Umbra Chronicles Book 2 Read online

  ‘There,’ I said, trying to point discreetly to last year’s Guardian.

  ‘No!’ Lynnevet groaned, pulling so hard on my hand she nearly pulled me over.

  ‘Yes,’ I snapped. ‘Come on.’ I pulled her away to the left and she surprised me by coming with me.

  ‘Yes!’ she cried and tried to pull me through the crowd.

  I don’t know if I finally realised that Lynnevet was running away from something, or if it was sheer chance that I looked back over my shoulder. I started running.

  Maldwyn was on the other side of the bridge.

  Chapter Three

  ‘Avaya!’ I called, trying to attract the attention of the woman who had been our Guardian last year. ‘Avaya, over here!’ She turned and headed towards us, but she sauntered when Maldwyn was sprinting.

  I pushed through a crowd that couldn’t have been more obstructive if they’d gathered in advance and prepared a plan to piss me off. I shoved people left and right and called for Avaya.

  I thought that if someone called for help in a public place, other people would come to their aid. I thought one of the hundreds of people around me would have done something. Instead, they turned to look at me and then looked away, muttering about manners and teenagers.

  When Maldwyn’s hand grabbed my arm, I gave up on words and just screamed. And no one did anything. Maldwyn shook me so hard I lost my grip on Lynnevet and sent her spinning to the ground.

  I thought we’d be seen by other creepyguardians and taken to their Lair. I’d hoped that Maldwyn would be dead or in hiding, after the confrontation with the soldiers of both Queens. He clapped his hand over my mouth and lifted me bodily off the ground.

  I felt a sudden cold burn on my neck, just beneath my hairline and a river of pain ran through my bones. The flash of cold fire at the top of my spine was from Maldwyn’s wand. The pain stopped the scream in my throat long enough to realise that the hand clamped over my mouth smelled… strange. I’d smelled it before. He’d used it more than once to make me… biddable. It had worked before and it worked now.

  I went quiet, just like I was supposed to. I got a glimpse of Lynnevet, still on the ground, looking up at me, before Maldwyn dragged me away.

  I followed him meekly enough, even when he had to let go of my hand. To tell the truth, even without the drug, I’m not sure I had much fight left in me. I’d lost my Sparrow. What else was there? How could I possibly take vengeance on someone as powerful as the White Queen? What could I possibly do? Scrawl graffiti on the walls of her fortress? That’d show her.

  My time in the past had gone to my head. For a few short weeks I’d had people bowing and scraping and calling me Bach Chwaer like that counted for something.

  I was nothing. Sure, my mother was a Queen, but what did that matter when you’re cold and hungry and there’s a man standing over you who wants to flee some of his own cold and hunger by taking the pride which is all you have left? I was an invisible person. No one in the world even knew I existed, except for the creepyguardians I’d stupidly thought I’d escape.

  I’d seen Maldwyn’s home in Caillen before. When he first took custody of us, we’d stayed here for a few weeks while he set up our prison in Cairnagorn. When we got away from him briefly, it was here that the fosterwoman brought us.

  He gave me a shove when we entered the apartment. He didn’t have to. I was biddable enough to agree to anything. That push was only out of spite.

  He advanced on me once he’d locked the door. ‘I knew you wouldn’t get far,’ he said. ‘You never could make a move unless someone pushed you. You like to think you’re brave, Emer, but you’re not. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have let me do what I did to you.’

  He’d said similar things so many times before that I barely heard, but unbidden came a memory of Caradoc. I’d been savagely beaten by Master Darragh and Caradoc healed me. Afterwards, I’d made a poor attempt at humour because Caradoc was mad enough to kill Darragh. ‘I’m only a featherskin,’ I’d said, lifting a hand covered in feathers that Darragh had clothed me with to inhibit my magic. It was a shameful thing to wear a featherskin.

  I was the lowest of the low in the castle, barely fit to sweep floors. Caradoc was the leader of the Camiri, a prince among an enslaved people who had finally gained their freedom after he led them in a civil war. He was engaged to the Meistri princess. There couldn’t be much more disparity between our situations, but Caradoc had always treated me like an equal ‒ like I was human.

  He’d caught my feathered hand in his. What were his words? Ah, yes. ‘The words we use about ourselves are important.’ Like I mattered. When I was with him, I believed it was true.

  And another image, lit by flames and bathed in blood. I’d killed a dragon, a thing that couldn’t be done. Later that night Caradoc had sung my praises to the court, saying that the Bach Chwaer would risk anything for her people.

  Yes, that was me, once. Since then, Caradoc had been killed. Sparrow had been killed. Outside the door of this apartment, the people lived in fear and poverty brought on by internecine war between the White Queen, Thief of the Meistri Throne, and the Dark Queen of the Camiri. I was the rightful heir to the throne. They were my people. But I wasn’t the Bach Chwaer anymore. I had no power to save anyone.

  I couldn’t even save myself.

  Maldwyn stared at me for a moment in which my heart failed to beat. He took a step towards me. I waited and closed my eyes.

  I opened my eyes again when I heard a knock at the door. Maldwyn’s head swung around. He drew in a sharp breath just to sigh. ‘The Master,’ he said. He turned back to me. ‘It’s lucky for you I found you before the Visitation. Be good, damn you, or I swear to you, I’ll kill your son.’

  ‘David,’ I whispered, then ‘Yes, Father.’ I’d come to Caillen for David. I’d thought or hoped Maldwyn to be dead and for a moment I’d thought I could save my son. Now, drugs swirling through my system, I just stood there and waited while Maldwyn opened the door.

  ‘Ah, Emer, no need to stand on ceremony, please sit,’ the Master said. The head of the creepyguardian Order, although today not dressed in his official regalia, conducted an official Visitation once a year, to sit down with me and Sparrow and make sure we were happy.

  Oh, to laugh, right?

  He sat at the table and I followed suit. He was about as old as dirt, so he probably needed to sit. He leaned forward. Thanks to the drug, I didn’t lean back.

  ‘So, Emer, how are you?’ he asked, all bluff and jovial, but he’d never liked me. He’d taken Sparrow on holidays and given her treats. In fact, after one of her holidays was when Sparrow first told me I wasn’t the nice one, like it was something told her by an authority on my character.

  Even with the drug, I was suddenly struck by the pain this question caused. My lips parted and a small sound came out. Maldwyn’s hand came down heavily on my shoulder.

  ‘It’s nice to be a family again, isn’t it, Emer?’ Maldwyn said. His thumb pressed sharply into the hollow of my collarbone.

  The Master didn’t notice, even though his gaze followed Maldwyn’s hand. He probably thought it looked sweet. He smiled. ‘So, Emer, you’re nineteen now. Is there anything you’d like to tell me? Anything we should discuss?’

  ‘No, Master.’

  ‘Any adventures you’ve had recently? You know I always take an interest in your lives.’

  I stared at him. Maybe the drug was wearing off already. ‘Adventures?’ I asked dumbly. Maldwyn’s hand was suddenly tight on my shoulder again.

  ‘Emer?’ he asked.

  ‘We went to Cairnagorn,’ I said slowly. Maldwyn gripped my shoulder so tightly, I thought he’d wrench it clear off. Of course I wasn’t going to say anything. Maldwyn had threatened the only thing left in the world that had ever once been mine. David was only five years old. I knew Maldwyn meant it when he said he’d kill him.

  A whole host of expressions came and went on the Master’s face. ‘Maldwyn, if you would be so good as to go
to the market and pick us up some food for dinner? I’m sure Emer is as hungry as I am. We’ll wait for you here.’ All the while his eyes never left my face, and I saw something of the reason why Maldwyn didn’t dare disobey him. He’d always seemed like such a trivial old man, but there was power in those eyes.

  Maldwyn left, whining a little, but the Master had an answer for everything. It turns out that when you’re the Master of the Order of the Guardians, ‘Because I said so,’ really is a reason. Once we were alone, he leaned towards me and spoke in an undertone, like we were sharing a secret.

  ‘And while you were there, the Queens attacked, didn’t they?’ he asked.

  I shrugged.

  ‘And you went into the Portal, didn’t you, Emer?’

  ‘How do you know that?’ I asked.

  He shook his head. ‘That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you listen to me now, Emer. Are you listening?’

  I couldn’t stop the words that rose to my lips. ‘You’re the only person talking in an otherwise quiet room, Master, it’s hard not to listen right now.’

  He leaned back and glared at me. ‘You are such a smart arse. I always hated that about you.’

  ‘Get in line,’ I muttered.

  He chuckled but it wasn’t a nice chuckle. ‘That’s right, Emer. A lot of people don’t like you. People then and people now. You don’t make friends easily, do you?’

  ‘I suppose a career in customer service is out of the question, then?’

  ‘I have created a world where both of you are safe. It’s a full-time job keeping you out of trouble and the whole Order has spent the last twenty years trying to keep you hidden from the consequences of your actions. If you cannot protect yourself, you must protect Elisabeth. Maldwyn will be an admirable Guardian. He won’t put up with any of your nonsense.

  ‘I remember you from those days, Emer. You gave up the whole world so you could come back to this time to rejoin Elisabeth. And I let you do it. I also watched you forming associations while you were there. I saw how you and that Camiri dog looked at each other ‒ the whole court saw it! And you had such power. Such a waste!

  ‘Your power won’t be wasted any more. Maldwyn will be instructed to keep you here in Caillen, so you don’t get any ideas about the Portal. Every full moon you will be brought to me for harvesting. I will take your magic, so you aren’t troubled by it. It is more important now than ever that you be kept secret from the White Queen. This is all for your own good, Emer.’

  The Master got up to leave, even before Maldwyn came back. I followed him to the door.

  ‘Master, I asked you before the Solstice for independence. We’re nineteen now. We’re not children.’ I was still talking about myself in the plural. ‘I’m not a child. You saw what I did in the past. I’m quite capable. I don’t need to stay in the care of the Guardians. Let me go free. Don’t make me live with Maldwyn. Let me have a normal life and look after myself.’

  The Master fixed me with the same gaze that had sent Maldwyn down to the market in a hurry, but I’d faced dragons and won. I wasn’t going to back down.

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘You’ll do as you’re told, Emer. You have no idea how dangerous the world is out there. Maldwyn is your Guardian, assigned by lot. If I find out that you’ve tried to run away, I will make sure that you are punished severely.’

  Then he unlocked the door and passed an anxious looking Maldwyn carrying paper bags of hot food.

  ‘What did you tell him?’ he demanded, coming inside and dropping the bags.

  ‘Nothing,’ I said. I started to back away a little. I thought of all I should have done. I should have wept, that was the first and most obvious thing. He’d expected me to weep, but I’d just sat there. He’d hated me for not weeping, I could see that, hated me for being a smart arse. He’d known me for nineteen years. It should hardly have been a surprise.

  ‘If you said one word to him, David is dead, do you hear me?’

  ‘I heard you before,’ I snapped. ‘I said nothing to him about you.’

  ‘He looked upset ‒ angry. What did you say to him?’

  I took a sudden step forward until we were nose to nose. ‘I told him nothing and if you hurt David, I swear I will finish you, you son of a bitch.’

  He took a step back, then a step forward and his hand flashed around to slap my face. He hit me so hard, he knocked me to the ground. I fell into the table and knocked the bags off it as I fell. And I thought I was brave because I’d slain dragons! I looked up at him and did nothing.

  ‘Pick that food up,’ Maldwyn said at last. ‘You always make such a mess, Emer. You’re hopeless.’

  Yes, hopeless. For five minutes I’d thought otherwise.

  #

  Not more than a day ago, as far as Maldwyn was concerned, we stood meekly behind last year’s creepyguardian who had actually been kind of nice. The year was over. It was time for a new creepyguardian. We accompanied her to the usual place in the Caillen hive. I don’t know why it always happened there. It was one of the things that we never questioned. It would have been like questioning Solstice Celebrations. Even if you don’t like it, even if you don’t agree with it, you still have to buy presents.

  The Master led the ceremony. The handing over was simple and private. The creepyguardian of the year announced to the Master that she had performed her duty and was glad to do it. This one actually sounded like she meant it. There had been a note in Maldwyn’s voice, when he said he’d been glad to do his duty by us that the Master completely missed.

  The creepyguardian left, leaving a smile and a few nice memories, and we were alone with the Master. I’d begged for freedom while Sparrow sat there quietly. The Master told me that I had no right to freedom, and we would be assigned a Guardian every year of our lives. Any moment now and we’d see who won the lot.

  Though I was sorry to see this year’s creepyguardian go, I would never tell her that her face. There was the usual ceremony and then next year’s Guardian came through the door. He stood there, proud and humble in his robe, his head bowed, his hood over his head, but I would have recognised him anywhere. I’d learned to recognise him in nightmares. I reached for Sparrow’s hand. I spoke very quietly in our twin language.

  ‘That’s it,’ I said. ‘Straight after this, we’re going. We’re leaving and we’re never coming back.’

  Sparrow didn’t reply, she had better sense than that, but she squeezed my hand very tightly.

  ‘Where do we go to next?’ I asked when we came out from the ceremony.

  ‘Speak when you’re spoken to, you piece of garbage,’ Maldwyn replied calmly, but from his tone I knew that if I spoke again his next reply would be a slap across the face. I bowed politely. ‘Good garbage,’ he said. ‘Get in the cart.’

  We got in the cart. We weren’t idiots. We didn’t drive far. He stopped at an inn beside the river. ‘Lunch,’ he said. ‘They never have good food at ceremonies.’

  We got out of the cart. Maldwyn came around and slipped his hand over my bottom. I didn’t move, but I wanted to scream. I didn’t even dare clench my legs together to hide from those probing fingers, though I couldn’t help the instinctive crawling of my flesh. I just stood there, though, didn’t say anything to give the game away.

  Sparrow slid down from the cart. ‘May I ask permission, Father?’ she asked. Her head was bowed and her voice humble, but I’d seen the glitter of her eyes, like silver diamond chips.

  ‘What?’ he asked. He probably liked that she called him ‘Father.’ His hand was still on my bottom, curving intimately in a way that felt even more perverse when my twin was calling him ‘Father.’

  ‘Can we use the bathroom, please, Father? The ceremony was long.’

  He looked frustrated but he took his hand away from my bottom and linked his arm through my elbow, reaching for Sparrow’s arm, too. ‘We’ll go into the inn together, like a family,’ he suggested and I wanted to vomit. He let us go, once we were inside. Sparrow took my arm and guided me
towards the toilets.

  Once there, I rushed into a stall and threw up. Sparrow crouched behind me, holding my hair and smoothing my back. Afterwards, she got some towels and cleaned my mouth with them.

  ‘Come on,’ she said quietly. For all we knew he was outside the door. ‘Out the window.’

  ‘There’s nothing but the river out there.’

  ‘We can change into birds.’

  ‘He’ll feel the wind from the magic and know what we did. He’ll follow us, Sparrow, and it will be worse than ever.’

  ‘Then we swim.’ Her voice was firm and final.

  ‘But it’s all muddy-’

  ‘I don’t care if we drown. We’re leaving.’

  I looked up at her. I know I’ve got all shades of bias on this one, but she was so beautiful. Her dark hair fell around me like a curtain and her silvery grey eyes were still as pale and hard as diamonds. Her hands were gentle on my face.

  ‘You’re right,’ I said, and stood up. We opened the window and slid through it. We were both slender from too many years of creepyguardians not giving a shit, but it paid off. The wall didn’t drop straight down into the river, but the urge to jump into the water was so strong I was choking on it.

  Sparrow took hold of my hand and we edged our way along until we reached the cobblestones of the road beside the river. ‘Quick,’ she said, ‘into birds. Now!’ We changed our forms and flew away.

  Behind us there was a shout from the inn. Maldwyn had noticed the sudden wind. He hurried around the corner of the inn where no one could see him, changed into a bird and flew after us.

  He caught us mid-air. I’ll never forgive myself for that. He dove towards Sparrow with sharp beak and talons and ripped her wing. We got to Cairnagorn ahead of him, but by then Sparrow could barely walk.

  We tried to get away through the Portal. The Queens arrived while we were there and battled each other for the prize of controlling us. We both went into the Portal, but the White Queen caught my sister, and I’d gone in alone.

  I emerged twenty years in the past. I turned the whole world upside down to get back to her, and now she was dead, and I was back in Maldwyn’s “care.” It would have been so much better for all of us if we’d just thrown ourselves into the river and drowned.